Barnabas File

In the last few years, religion scholars and the popular press have written much about the “Nones”—people who profess no religious faith.     Ryan Burge and Tony Jones have found that it is not that simple.    The Nones are often thought of as a single group, but Jones and Burge have found they’re not. There are the Nones in Name Only (NiNOs), Spiritual but Not Religious, the Dones and the Zealous Atheists.  There not discreet boxes but gradients.   What this means for coaches is that we may find ourselves coaching about existential or faith issues when we least expect it.  Our clients may say that they have no particular religious views, but some are more spiritual than they think!   All coaches—Christian or not—can their support clients in authentic meaning-making by exploring their inner world, uncovering  and integrating their true selves.  Faith coaching acknowledges and accepts the inherent ambiguities and tensions ...

“Over 85% of the world population identifies with an organized religion while millions more practice folk religions and spiritual beliefs. Humans may be innately spiritual, learning existential views early through family traditions, community practices, and cultural narratives.”   You may be surprised to know that this quote comes from a study by the International Coaching Federation Thought Leadership Institute.  The study points out that it is typical for individuals to ask existential questions, often focusing on the big questions of human life like purpose, freedom, and meaning. Religion and spirituality enrich the human experience through meaning-making and help find one’s place in the word.   For those coaches who follow the Christian faith, the opportunity to “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18, NIV) is a given in our lives and will inform our coaching as well.  However, ho...

Every week, we find ourselves in some type of gathering with others.     Sometimes it is a group meeting where we are discussing topics of both collective and individual concern.     Often it is team of people working together to further the tasks of a church, organization, or service group.     How can you, as an individual, positively impact the effectiveness of the conversation in either setting?    Adam Grant is a professor in organizational psychology at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania.  He has shared these insights about group leadership.   The true leader in a group is rarely the person who talks the most.  It’s usually the person who listens best.  Listening is more than hearing what’s said.  It’s noticing and surfacing what isn’t said.  Inviting dissenting views and amplifying quiet voices are acts of leadership.  As I reviewed these observations, I realized that one d...

  "If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there”. —Lewis Carroll   "If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up someplace else”. —Yogi Berra    We are far enough into the new year that most of our “new year’s resolution” have either taken hold or have been forgotten.  The beginning of the year is one of those pivot points that challenge us to stop, take inventory, and at least consider making changes in our lives.  Although we don’t often think about it, new year’s resolutions are a kind of goal setting.   The idea of setting goals often strikes fear in our hearts.  Most of us have been part of organizations that required us to set goals at one time or another.  Some of us didn’t mind so much setting goals as being required to!    In The How of Happiness , Sonja Lyubomirsky helps the reader to see goal setting as a path to mental health and growth rather than as a burden.  ...

During and post-COVID, I did some online coaching related to resiliency.     Very often we ended up talking about coping skills, actions that were a response to stress or change.    Coping skills are basically damage control, helping us to get back to a baseline of “okay.”   I was recently introduced to the positive psychology term of “savoring”—attending to and embracing the positive experiences of our lives.  Basically, coping and savoring are two sides of the same coin—both are emotional regulation strategies, but they operate in entirely different "climates."   You might think of them as the tools you use for different weather--coping is your umbrella for the rain, while savoring is your sunglasses for the sunshine.   In coping, we are trying to manage the negative in order to reduce distress, solve problems, or minimize the impact of an unexpected event.  Some examples would be seeking social support after a loss, pra...

  Have you ever worked with a leader who had the knowledge and training to do the job, but lacked the ability to effectively work with others? In both coaching and leadership, Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is often the "missing link" between technical competence and actual effectiveness. While Intellectual Intelligence (IQ) might get you the job, Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is what helps you keep it and excel in it.   The most widely accepted framework, popularized by Daniel Goleman, breaks EQ into four core domains.   1.          Self-Awareness (The Foundation).   You cannot manage what you do not notice. Self-awareness is the ability to recognize your own emotions “in the moment” and understand your typical triggers. Two aspects of this are emotional literacy—being able to clearly name the feeling  ( e.g., "I’m feeling dismissed") and impact awareness--recognizing how your mood affects the energy of the people around ...