I was serving as interim pastor of a small congregation and
working with their search committee as they sought a new pastor. The committee asked me to make some contacts
related to one particular candidate. I
made several phone calls and discovered a disturbing pattern. The pastor in question had a reputation of borrowing
money from lay leaders in a congregation and then moving on, failing to repay
the indebtedness. Although the candidate
was an effective preacher and seemed to have pastoral ministry skills, this
raised some red flags for me and the search committee when they received my
report.
This is one of those ethical areas that are rarely touched
in seminary or when groups of ministers gather to talk. There are certain boundary issues—such as money,
relationships, and time management—that are often overlooked in ministerial
training. Although some denominational groups have codes of ethics that address
such concerns, Baptists—being congregational in polity—often fail to address
these concerns.
Why do otherwise good and effective leaders ignore common
sense and fail to observe boundaries? I
think we often rationalize our actions with internal arguments that justify our
actions or seem sound at the moment. We
succumb to our own hubris despite our better intentions.
For example, a minister may say, “I have been called by God
to accomplish a mission, so it is acceptable if I cut some corners.” This false
sense of entitlement may lead to charging expenses to the church for personal
items, accepting large gifts from church members, or using church resources for
personal projects. The minister argues
that I am on “a mission for God,” so I have some latitude in these cases.
Sometimes a minister ignores boundaries out of fear of not
being able to satisfy everyone in the congregation. This sense of Insecurity or inadequacy leads
the minister to seek validation in places that should be “off limits.” This results in sexual impropriety,
manipulating others to one’ own ends, and lying to cover one’s actions.
There are occasions when ministers justify their ethical
shortcuts as an effort to provide proper support for their families. Certainly one wants to be a responsible
spouse and parent, but the end does not justify the means and can bring shame
to all involved.
How can a minister avoid these transgressions?
First of all, find a group of ministers where
you can be transparent about your struggles.
Very often, a pastor benefits more from being part of an
interdenominational group rather than one made up of members of his or her
denomination. Internal politics in the
denomination may inhibit honesty and openness.
If such a group is not available, seek out a pastoral counselor or
therapist for regular meetings.
Second, learn to be transparent with your spouse about your
struggles. Although you cannot expect your spouse to fulfill all of your
emotional needs, you owe it to your partner to share the challenges you face.
Third, have a clear understanding with staff and lay leaders
in the church about how potentially compromising situations will be
addressed. Who handles the money in the
church and who approves payments? There
should be clear, written procedures in place with oversight over everyone
involved including the pastoral staff.
When and where will the pastor or other staff meet or counsel with lay
leaders? If these sessions do not take
place in the church office, are they in a public place or is there someone else
present in the house if it is a home visit?
As trivial as such guidelines may seem, they exist to protect all who
are involved.
Can a person who wishes to transgress get around these
guidelines? Of course, but all of us benefit
from these reminders that we have limits in our lives and ministries. Good boundaries protect us rather than
restrict us.
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