Leadership Dilemma: Enabling

With permission, I share the experience of a pastor friend who was recently involved in the removal of the executive director of a 501(c)3 housed in his congregation. The person involved was charismatic, charming, and could tell a good story; however, she did not know how to lead the ministry.

As my friend recounts the situation, in previous leadership roles this person had always found someone who could prop her up. These people were enablers who did her work for her, so she never had to step up and take responsibility. He says, “If you enable incompetency, consider how you are handicapping a person for life and creating unnecessary challenges for future supervisors.”

This happens in not-for-profits, churches, and other organizations. Why do we do this? Why do we become enablers who encourage dysfunctional behavior? There are several reasons.

First of all, we think we are helping the person. We convince ourselves that although this person has some shortcomings, this a good human being who just needs help in certain areas. The problem here is that we are keeping the person from self-improvement. We are making it possible for her to perpetuate dysfunctional behavior.

Second, we believe that we are helping the organization by assuming this person’s responsibilities. In reality, we are facilitating poor stewardship and misuse of resources. The organization is paying for something it is not getting. The organization is paying this person to be a leader, but it is not receiving that service.

Third, we feel good that we are helping. This is dysfunctional behavior on our part. We are feeding our own egos, assuming a place of authority that is not ours, and perpetuating an unhealthy system. We are only making a bad system worse.

Fourth, we are afraid to confront. We fear hurting the person’s feelings or making the organization look bad; therefore, we inhibit growth for the person and the organization.

Organizations, supervisors, and co-workers can help a person who exhibits such dysfunctional behavior by confronting it and the sooner the better for everyone involved. We can launch an intervention that will help all involved. Failure to do so allows the person to make this their default way of functioning, repeating this behavior in one situation after another.

Leaders must confront this behavior, even if it is uncomfortable to do so.

Comments

Anonymous said…

Interesting that this case was about a woman in leadership. I wonder if it were a man would the same set of circumstances have been viewed as him delegating his authority rather than being incompetent. We need more women in leadership and sometimes I ask myself as a woman if perhaps we do not get the same grace as men who often times do much more egregious and ungodly things, yet are enabled their entire lives by close friends and professional colleagues. Equality is not just about equal pay. It is also about equal perception of skills or the lack thereof. Unfortunately, women come up short in both areas of compared to men. It is a loss for society and the ministry whenever we lose a woman in leadership because both so desperately need them.

Heather A. Davis

7:14 PM

Barnabas File said…

Thanks for your comment. In this particular incident, the person involved was a woman, but I have personal experience with men who have been enabled although they could not accept responsibility. They depended on others to prop them up. I was involved in the termination of one these persons; a nice guy, but was not up to the task. The woman in this situation had been able to continue in ministry for many years despite her unwillingness to develop her gifts. The problem was that each of her ministry assignments only lasted a few years. Hope we can find ways to help both women and men succeed in leadership.

7:34 PM

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