How Shall They Mourn?

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot, . . .
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance.”

--Ecclesiastes 3:1-2, 4, NIV

During these days of pandemic, much of what we consider normal and routine has changed. We are no longer able or willing to pursue life in the ways we always have. A heart-wrenching challenge for family members has been their separation from loved ones who have been hospitalized. Many are denied physical access to those who are dying due to concern about the COVID-19 infection.

Mourning has also been a challenging in a time of social distancing and mask-wearing. More families have opted for simple graveside services with family and close friends, giving up on a memorial service or hoping to have a fitting service later.

These are also difficult times for church families who have lost “seasoned saints” and have not been able to adequately remember their commitment and service. When will we be able to do this properly?

This also has implications for those in pastoral ministry. I have often heard experienced ministers say, “You don’t really become someone’s pastor until you walk with them through illness or stand with them at the grave of a loved one.” The pandemic has been difficult for pastors. They are used to visiting with the sick and dying, spending time with grieving families, and conducting memorial services or funerals.

How does a pastor deal with this inability to minister? How does a pastor rebuild relationships to those who mourn during these days? When a key part of one’s identity as a minister is stifled, what do you do?

I do not have answers, but it is a reality that both parishioners and clergy must face in the coming days.

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