One of the biggest challenges of training coaches is helping them get over the idea that they are problem solvers. Summit Coach Training participants usually come from the people development professions—clergy, counselors, consultants, not-for profit leaders. The are used to people coming to them seeking answers. These helpers usually feel compelled to give them answers!
The real goal of coaching is working a client to discover and use their skills and experience to solve their own challenges. The key to good coaching is not the “what” of problem solving but the “who” of the client as problem solver.
Ultimately, coaching seeks to be a transformative process for the client emphasizing not “what” the client does but “who” the client is. A good coach walks alongside the client as they discover new ways of thinking and engaging based on how they process and act. A good coach does this in several ways.
First, the coach works with the client to foster a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset. Researcher Carol Dweck defines the two approaches in this way. Someone with a fixed mindset assumes intelligence and talent are static; what we have to work with right now is all we will ever have. A person with growth mindset, on the other hand, believes they can develop themselves through effort, strategies, and learning from mistakes. Dweck argues that adopting a growth mindset is crucial for success and resilience.
Second, a coach works with a client to discover their true motivation, often identified as core values. I usually define “motivation” as “a motive for action”. What really drives you? We cannot motivate another person, but we can coerce them. Which do you think is more effective and longer lasting?
Third, a coach can help a client to process their relationships with others and the reactions those create. We call this emotional Intelligence or EQ. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage our own emotions, and to recognize and influence the emotions of others, helping us to navigate social situations, build relationships, relieve stress, and solve problems effectively. As one leverages their EQ skills, they can work effectively with others to innovate and grow together.
Fourth, a coach encourages the client to learn how to take a fresh perspective on a situation. This can be done in a number of ways, but here are some possibilities:
- · Reframing—Seeing things in a new way. “If you asked your best friend how to address this situation, what would she say?”
- · Meta-view--Taking the long view. “Imagine it is five years from now. This challenge has been resolved. What does your job, life, relationship look like?”
- · Possibilities Thinking—Stretching the client. “If money, security, or time were not factors, what would you do?”
- · Reappraisal—Stepping back from the first reaction. “What’s the best-case scenario in this situation?”
Working on the “who” takes a lot more time and investment that working on the “what,” but the result is more beneficial and life-changing for the client.
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