“I have just given up on the church. There is no place for me there.” This was the comment made by a participant at a meeting I attended several months ago. The focus of the meeting was on reaching the “unchurched,” but the discussion moved quickly to testimonies by those who considered themselves “dechurched.”
What’s the difference? Unchurched people declare that they have never had a meaningful relationship with the church. Sure, they may have been to weddings and funerals and an occasional Christmas or Easter service, but they never really have identified with a particular congregation. Dechurched people, on the other hand, were once active in a congregation or denomination. They may have grown up in the church or made a profession of faith at some point in their pilgrimage, but they no longer consider themselves church people. In fact, some may no longer consider themselves Christians.
What causes a person to become dechurched? There are any number of reasons, and they are highly individual.
Some leave the church because their expectations were not met. They did not find the challenge or insight that they were seeking to deal with daily life or problem situations.
Others have left because of a power struggle in a particular congregation. A pastor may have exceeded his or her authority or been forced to leave the church. Maybe there was a disagreement over use of resources—personnel, facilities, or finances. During power struggles, individuals often show their worst side. Power struggles anywhere are not pretty, but they are especially ugly in the body of Christ because we expect more of the people involved. This leads to disappointment and alienation.
Abuse may the reason someone is no longer related to the church. The individual, someone in their family, or a friend were abused by another church member or clergy leader. To add insult to injury, perhaps the incident was handled improperly. This happens more than we would like to admit.
Perhaps the person was “burned out” by the church. They were gifted and wanted to help, but they couldn’t say “No” and found themselves overcommitted. On the other hand, the individual might have wanted to use his or her gifts in the congregation, but the opportunity was denied and they got tired of beating on that door.
I am sure that you can add other reasons that people become disenchanted with the church. The questions I would ask of a dechurched people are these. First, do you still long to be part of a Christian community? Second, do you have something to offer and the desire to do that grows stronger every day? Third, are you willing to acknowledge not only the fallibility of others but your own tendency to fall short of the goal? Fourth, can you practice grace even if you have no received it from others?
The church is made of up sinners, but that is all that God has to work with in this world. As someone told me years ago, if you find the perfect church, don’t join because it will no longer be perfect.
What’s the difference? Unchurched people declare that they have never had a meaningful relationship with the church. Sure, they may have been to weddings and funerals and an occasional Christmas or Easter service, but they never really have identified with a particular congregation. Dechurched people, on the other hand, were once active in a congregation or denomination. They may have grown up in the church or made a profession of faith at some point in their pilgrimage, but they no longer consider themselves church people. In fact, some may no longer consider themselves Christians.
What causes a person to become dechurched? There are any number of reasons, and they are highly individual.
Some leave the church because their expectations were not met. They did not find the challenge or insight that they were seeking to deal with daily life or problem situations.
Others have left because of a power struggle in a particular congregation. A pastor may have exceeded his or her authority or been forced to leave the church. Maybe there was a disagreement over use of resources—personnel, facilities, or finances. During power struggles, individuals often show their worst side. Power struggles anywhere are not pretty, but they are especially ugly in the body of Christ because we expect more of the people involved. This leads to disappointment and alienation.
Abuse may the reason someone is no longer related to the church. The individual, someone in their family, or a friend were abused by another church member or clergy leader. To add insult to injury, perhaps the incident was handled improperly. This happens more than we would like to admit.
Perhaps the person was “burned out” by the church. They were gifted and wanted to help, but they couldn’t say “No” and found themselves overcommitted. On the other hand, the individual might have wanted to use his or her gifts in the congregation, but the opportunity was denied and they got tired of beating on that door.
I am sure that you can add other reasons that people become disenchanted with the church. The questions I would ask of a dechurched people are these. First, do you still long to be part of a Christian community? Second, do you have something to offer and the desire to do that grows stronger every day? Third, are you willing to acknowledge not only the fallibility of others but your own tendency to fall short of the goal? Fourth, can you practice grace even if you have no received it from others?
The church is made of up sinners, but that is all that God has to work with in this world. As someone told me years ago, if you find the perfect church, don’t join because it will no longer be perfect.
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