Barnabas File

Each coaching client is unique.     As coaches, we each have a philosophy of coaching, a code of ethics, strategies, curiosity, and intuition.     We have our own experiences and inclinations that inform us but (we hope) do not limit our effectiveness.    Even so, we must be flexible, ready to adapt to the personality, expectations, and individuality of each client.   My observation is that all my coaching clients (past and present) have certain characteristics in common, however.   They are smart.   Most are in leadership roles that are only given to professionally and vocationally competent people.  They have both training and life experiences to draw on.   They are gifted.   We define spiritual gifts in various ways, but I believe that God has gifted each person with special abilities.  These gifts may not always be fully developed, but they are present in the individual.   They know a lot more ...

The 20 th   century industrial model thrived on a tight command and control model.     It increased production, but it often fostered an “us” versus “them” approach--industry versus labor union, employer versus employee, “boss” versus workers.       In his New Leadership Paradigm , Steve Piersanti picks up on this in calling for a shift from the old paradigm of control to one of collaboration.  The control approach depended on coercion, dominance, and secrecy to “keep people in line.”  The new paradigm calls for collaboration.  Piersanti describes collaboration in this way: “Leadership is exercised through invitation, request, dialogue, persuasion, respect, openness, kindness, integrity, and partnership, without compulsion.”   This is the way that the church was intended to function.  In Romans 12:4-8, the apostle Paul writes,   For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not ...

Each season bring its own gifts.    Fall brings us cooler temperatures, the familiar rhythms of school and work, football, and denominational meetings! Some may be surprised at the last item of that list, so let me explain.   In my Southern Baptist tradition, fall is the time for associational meetings and state meetings.  As a denominational person and collegiate minister, I was expected to be present in those gatherings.  Associational meetings are made of messengers from local churches in a county (or maybe a combination of two or more) who gather in October (usually) to learn about local and state ministries, worship, and listen to sermons.   My appreciation for these annual associational meetings grew when I was campus minister at Carson Newman College (now University) in east Tennessee.  In that role, I would be expected to represent the college in three or four such meetings.  Of course, these were usually smaller, more ...

Benjamin Franklin said this about mentoring:   “There are two ways to acquire wisdom; you can either buy it or borrow it.  By buying it, you pay full price in terms of time and cost to learn the lessons you need to learn.  By borrowing it, you go to those men and women who have already paid the price to learn the lessons and get their wisdom from them.”   Mentors are important in our personal and professional development.  They not only share their experiences with us, but they open doors by introducing us to people in our field and sponsoring us to be involved in special projects or events.   Is it possible that one can outgrow her or his mentor?  This is not only a possibility but very likely. In the Book of Acts, we read the story of a mentor-protégé relationship that prospered for a period but ended with some discord.  We sometimes forget that Barnabas was a mentor for Saul, the persecutor of the Way who would become i...

Let me warn you upfront:     this is a complex, multilayered volume written by an author with both an engineering (Ph.D.) and public policy background as well as practical experience in the gaming industry (Roblox).     Keith Lucas invites us into a deep dive to creating, leading,     developing, and sustaining teams that are both innovative and entrepreneurial.    He believes that “high-performing teams create engines of innovation in the behaviors they cultivate and the people they hire, develop, and retain.”   There are two major themes in the book:  developing teams that practice aligned autonomy and developing “mission athletes” in those teams.  Although the ground covered in the first area is very familiar territory, Lucas gives it a fresh spin.  He knows the accepted literature in the field but is not limited by it.  The section on developing team members acknowledges the reality that not everyo...

As I looked over a group I was meeting with this week, I realized that practically everyone there was going through a time of transition—sending children back to school or launching them into world; dealing with birth or death; supporting aging parents or considering one’s own aging; beginning a new position or leaving one;  celebrating good health with new activities or recognizing the limitations of changing health; beginning a relationship or ending one. Change and transition are not the same.  Change is an external event or situation that takes place: a new job, a new life situation, a change in lifestyle.  Change can happen very quickly.  Transition is the inner psychological process that people go through as they internalize and come to terms with the new situation that the change brings about. Recognizing that we are in transition leverages change for significant growth.  When you touch an artistic mobile, equilibrium is changed. ...

Life Coaching vs. Therapy: A Comparison Ethical and effective coaches know when a client’s needs go beyond the scope of coaching and require referral to a licensed mental health professional. Recognizing these boundaries protects both the client’s well-being and the integrity of the coaching process.     Aspect Life Coaching Therapy Primary Focus Future-oriented growth and goal achievement Healing and recovery from past or present emotional/psychological distress Approach Strengths-based, action-driven, and solution-focused Diagnostic, treatment-based, and process-oriented Time Orientation Focuses on present and future Often explores past to understand and heal present issues Scope Clarifying goals, building skills, enhancing performance, increasing life satisfaction Addressing mental illness, trauma, emotional regulation, and behavioral challenges Typical Client Mentally healthy individuals seeking growth, clarity, or life transition support Individuals experiencing emotional...

While life/leadership coaching can be deeply supportive, it is not a substitute for mental health treatment. I have had clients who were not only engaged in coaching but were seeing a counselor as well. Each engagement was helpful to the client, but it was important for the client to understand the clear distinction between the two helping professions.   Ethical and effective coaches know when a client’s needs go beyond the scope of coaching and require referral to a licensed mental health professional. Recognizing these boundaries protects both the client’s well-being and the integrity of the coaching process.   Key signs that a referral may be appropriate include the following:   Signs of Mental Illness  – Persistent depression, anxiety, mood swings, panic attacks, or symptoms that interfere with daily functioning.   Unresolved Trauma  – Past or recent trauma that causes significant emotional distress or impacts the client’s ability to focus on future goa...

Having served on the board of a faith-based counseling center, I have a great appreciation for professional counselors and therapists.     I have also been the client of a therapist, so I know the impact that a trained, empathetic counselor can have in one’s life.    As a result, when I train our coaches at Summit Coach Training, I have a clear understanding of the difference between counseling/therapy and coaching.   My colleague, Beth Kennett, has reminded me, however, that coaching can contribute to one’s mental health.   Life coaching can significantly contribute to mental health without being therapy by focusing on personal growth, clarity, and forward movement — not on diagnosing or healing mental illness. Here's how coaching can support mental well-being when properly used.   First, Future-Focused Empowerment.   Coaching helps clients set and achieve meaningful goals, boosting motivation and hope — both protective factors for...

Whatever the profession, many people find themselves standing at a crossroads, knowing where they want to go but unsure how to build the bridge to get there. If you are someone who naturally gravitates toward helping others find that path, who thrives on seeing potential unlocked, then becoming a coach might be more than a career—it could be your calling.   In this article, I use the term “coach” to refer to anyone who adheres to the International Coaching Federation  definition  of coaching:   “Partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”   One may choose different modifiers to clarity their particular interest—life, leadership, health, career, spiritual, etc.  Each requires additional training beyond the basics of coaching.   The primary reason to become a coach is the profound sense of purpose that comes from making a tangible, positive i...

Diversity has become a hot topic these days, especially as the Federal government applies standards to not only delete references or training that recognizes and encourages the diverse nature of our country within government agencies but attempts to punish any entity that seeks to honor and promote diversity.   This is a fool’s errand.  Diversity is not an initiative; it is our reality! All we must do is look around us at the grocery store, at the shopping center, in the schools, and on our streets to see diversity.   We are a nation of people from many countries, cultures, and personal experiences.  We are made of people who decided to come to the United States or whose ancestors made that choice. Diversity is a fact of life.   Even so, diversity challenges us to both empowerment and acceptance.  How do we work to leverage our diversity to build a strong nation?  In some cases, people with specific backgrounds or needs be...

Sociologist Brene Brown once said, “What we know matters, but who we are matters more."  This applies to our understanding of Christian discipleship.  As Christians, we often struggle with the balance between orthodoxy (right knowledge or doctrine) and orthopraxy (right practice or action). This is the challenge that James presents when he writes, “ But someone will say, ‘You have faith; I have deeds.’ Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.” (James 2:18, NIV)   Both right belief and right action are necessary in the life of a follower of Christ, but can one get in the way of the other?   Historically, Baptists have been very good at communicating information about the Bible and the faith.  They delight in asking questions of scripture that exegete the text in an attempt to understand the who, what, how, and why of the passage.  We are less open to letting the text speak to us.     For e...

Leadership has been a popular topic of discussion down through the ages.  There has been an ebb and flow of emphases—authoritarian vs. participative; task vs. relational and many more. Take your choice.   A recent graphic by Kavit Haria that caught my attention exemplifies two contemporary approaches to leadership.  Haria suggests that many people tend to think that leadership is two things:  giving orders and always having an answer.  He then presents a broader understanding of what leadership  actually  is.  Here are his suggestions:     Making people feel safe.  Individuals contribute more to an organization when they feel that they are safe physically, intellectually, and professionally.  If a person fears or dreads coming to work, something is wrong.  A feeling of safety facilitates participation and personal investment.   Coaching.  A good leader calls forth...

Abraham Lincoln is reported to have said: “If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first four hours sharpening the axe.” Stephen Covey in his   The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People  changed this to “Sharpen your saw.”     But even earlier, the author of Ecclesiastes wrote, If the ax is dull, and one does not sharpen the edge, then he must use more strength; but wisdom brings success.” (10:10, NIV).    The Message has, “Remember: “The duller the ax the harder the work; use your head: the more brains, the less muscle.”   The basic idea behind the quote and the story is that we must spend time preparing to accomplish the tasks at hand.  What does this mean for us in these volatile times that challenge our capacity and resilience?  Let me share some ideas.   First, Rest.  In addition to an adequate amount of sleep each night, seize the opportunity during the da...

Leaders will often say that the people in their organization are its most important asset.     Many probably believe this.     As I have been thinking about the development of clergy leaders, I wonder if lay and denominational leaders believe this.     Is there sufficient investment in retaining, developing, and maintain clergy leaders?      In his book  The Systems Leader , Robert E. Siegel suggests that investing in staff should be a priority concern. Let’s look at his observations and apply them to our church and denominational settings.   First, Siegel observes that it is cheaper and easier to retrain that replace. He writes, “Studies show that it often costs less to reskill a current employee than to recruit, hire, and train a new one. According to the Society for Human Resource Management, finding and training a new employee can cost as much as six to nine months of their salary.”    This means reskilling existing pe...

We often talk about the value of coaches and mentors in professional development but give little attention to the value of peers in helping us achieve what we are seeking.   In The Career Game Loop , author Jessica Lindl emphasizes the importance of peers to our development.  They can be older, younger, or the same age.  The key is that you share a desire to learn and grow, and you are willing to make a mutual commitment to the relationship.  Peers can provide both accountability and inspiration.    Peers can hold each other accountable by giving attention to the following:   Setting goals.  We can share with our peer where we are and where we want to be, then articulating both specific goals and timelines to achieve them.   Sharing progress. We need to keep in touch regularly with our peer to motivate us to make headway between conversations.   Asking for feedback.  Questions and feedback from a peer can he...

When I began coaching, my colleague Mark Tidsworth introduced me to the concept of “positive psychology.”  I have come to appreciate how this approach, pioneered by Martin Seligman and others, can enrich and inform my coaching.   Basically, positive psychology is like the "glass half full" approach to understanding people. Instead of just focusing on what's wrong with us, it's all about what makes us feel good and live a good life.   Think of it this way:   It's not just about fixing problems:  It's about figuring out what makes us happy and how to get more of that. It's about our strengths:  Instead of dwelling on our weaknesses, it looks at what we're good at and how we can use those things. Happy feelings matter:  It looks at why feeling things like joy and gratitude are important. Getting lost in the moment is good:  That feeling when you're totally absorbed in something you love? That's important for feeling good. Friends are key:  Good ...