What I Have Learned about Coaching Clients

Each coaching client is unique. As coaches, we each have a philosophy of coaching, a code of ethics, strategies, curiosity, and intuition. We have our own experiences and inclinations that inform us but (we hope) do not limit our effectiveness. Even so, we must be flexible, ready to adapt to the personality, expectations, and individuality of each client.

My observation is that all my coaching clients (past and present) have certain characteristics in common, however.

They are smart. Most are in leadership roles that are only given to professionally and vocationally competent people. They have both training and life experiences to draw on.

They are gifted. We define spiritual gifts in various ways, but I believe that God has gifted each person with special abilities. These gifts may not always be fully developed, but they are present in the individual.

They know a lot more about their situation that I do. They are the experts on the particular concern they wish to address in coaching.

What do they lack? This is not true in every case, but some clients come to coaching with one or more of the following characteristics.

They are not motivated. Sometimes I will coach a person who is “stuck”—emotionally, spiritually, vocationally. They have not ascertained a way forward in their situation. A coach cannot motivate a client, but a coach can help a client discover his or her own motivation— “a motive for action.”

They lack clarity. Even if they possess a growth mindset, they are unsure about how to act in their situation. Their vision for themselves or their organization is fuzzy or non-existent. There is a paraphrase of a line from Alice in Wonderland: “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” Where you want to end up is important.

They are undifferentiated. In family systems terminology (as I understand it), the individual is too immersed in the system to have an objective or unprejudiced point of view. They have bought into the present situation so thoroughly that they are unable or unwilling to ask the questions and take the actions to lead effectively.

Of course, there may be other things that a client may need to address to grow. An effective coach comes alongside not as the expert or with a box of magic tricks, but a desire to help the client know themselves, their capabilities, and the actions that will move them toward their goals and ultimately their vision for life.

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