Barnabas File

Having coached for almost ten years now, I have assumed that one thing that makes me attractive as a coach is my easy-going attitude.     For the most part, I come across as non-judgmental and supportive.    Some have termed it “Southern graciousness.” At some point in a coaching relationship, however, I may find it necessary to set this persona aside if I am to effectively coach my client.  I was reminded of this last year when I attended a coach training event in California.  We were asked to identify skills we needed to work on to be better coaches.  I chose three:  challenging, intruding, and taking charge. Now all of these run counter to my normal way of doing things, but our trainers pointed out that sometimes a coach should stretch and step outside of his or her comfort zone to serve the client more effectively. Clients do not need a coach who is a “yes” person but one who will make them dig deeper and dis...

When we discuss the value of coaching, we usually focus on the difference it makes in the lives of individuals, but coaching also has benefits for the churches and organizations that provide it for staff and employees.  In an article in the February 2016 edition of Coaching World, Odile Carru and Mark Weinstein discussed the growth of internal coaching in organizations and its value to employees at all levels.  Carru and Weinstein presented three of these benefits:  talent retention, leadership development, and improving soft skills When a church or organization provides coaches for leaders, the person who is coached not only develops new skills and abilities, but they appreciate the investment being made on their behalf.  This encourages them to stay with the organization longer rather than seeking another position “where the grass is greener.”  According to Carru and Weinstein, key areas for coaching in organizations are leadership development, on...

Growth is a necessary part of the life of a leader.  If one fails to grow, he or she will not last long in a leadership role.  Two of the speakers at the Willow Creek Global Leadership Summit today addressed individual growth from very different perspectives.  Shelia Heen addressed the importance of feedback—accepting it rather then giving it.  Heen has spent two decades at the Harvard Negotiation Project and now works with executive teams through her firm, Triad Consulting Group. In her most recent book, Thanks for the Feedback (co-authored with Doug Stone), she helps readers to understand how to receive feedback and use it for personal growth and development. In a very dynamic presentation, she pointed out that we “ swim in an ocean of feedback” but that doesn’t mean that we know what to do with it.  Heen suggested three levels of feedback         Appreciation keeps us motivated.       ...

Designed specifically for Christian coaches, don't miss this Online Mega Conference, the   IMPACT 2014 eSummit . Enjoy over 30 business and practice building sessions from top-notch experts. We kick off the conference with a pre-summit series on Sept 24th. The full conference runs Sept 29-Oct 3, 2014.  I will be leading a pre-session conference on "Creating a Coaching Culture in the Church." Industry Pioneers & Experts The conference will feature keynote presentations, panel discussions and sessions from pioneers and experts in the Christian Coaching field. For a full lineup of speakers, visit the Speakers page. Here are some names you may know: Jennifer Britton, MCC – an expert in the areas of Group Coaching and Team Development Gary Collins, PhD. – author of the landmark book, Christian Coaching Jane Creswell, MCC – an innovator and leader in internal corporate coaching Ben Koh, MCC – founder of I Am Life Coach, a leading coach academy in Asia ...

Even though we know how important the appointment is, I have not found a single person who looks forward to an annual physical with his or her personal physician.  Whether male or female, the patient has to provide samples of his or her bodily fluids, submit to a list of personal questions, and endure various indignities at the hands of the doctor.  The physician always does this in a personal and caring manner, but I come away with a sense of relief that the ordeal is over for another year! I got into the routine of having an annual physical when I was working for a denominational organization that required it.  Despite the inconvenience, I realized that this was a good thing.  The annual meeting with my physician made me review the state of my health, provided a baseline for future treatment, and helped me to set some personal goals for the coming year related to lifestyle. When I changed places of ministry and the annual exam was no longer required, I conti...

According to the story, a young person asked an older, wiser person, “How do I avoid mistakes?”  The mentor said, “Get experience.”  The young person rejoined, “Then how do I get experience?” The reply:  “Make mistakes.”  Of course, this assumes that one learns from his or her mistakes.  Unfortunately, many of us make mistakes again and again but never learn from them.  How do we learn from mistakes?  Let me suggest several steps. First, pray that God will give you a teachable spirit.  If we are unwilling to learn from our mistakes and adapt our behavior, we won’t improve.  We will continue to do the same thing again and again and expect different results. Albert Einstein called that insanity. Second, give yourself the space to reflect on exactly what happened.  Don’t obsess about it, but make sure that you have a well-rounded picture of events.  You might even ask a trusted friend who observed the event or action to ...

Abraham Lincoln is reported to have said:  "Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.”  This approach to preparation was popularized by Stephen Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.   Even so, the practice of continuing personal and professional development is not a high priority for many leaders—especially clergy.  They are too busy chopping down the tree to take time to sharpen the axe. Since I became a certified professional life coach, I have entered into a world of required professional development that I have only observed from the outside in the past.  My friends who are public school educators, counselors, marriage therapists, and medical professional are required to take a certain number of hours of continuing education each year in order to maintain their license or certification.  Some denominational judicatories require such education for their clergy, but this is the ex...

Mark Wingfield, associate pastor at Wilshire Baptist Church in Dallas, recently posted a blog challenging the assumption that a doctorate degree is always a good thing for pastors to have.   Wingfield presents a good case that not every ministry situation requires someone with a doctorate (Doctor of Philosophy, Doctor of Ministry, Doctor of Education, etc.) and that some churches may just be on an ego trip when they seek a minister with a doctorate. If a church just wants someone with some initials after their name or a title, they can give the candidate a few dollars and point him or her to the internet. We all know that getting a certificate that says one is a “doctor” is different from earning a recognized doctorate degree in a field.  Pastor search committees really need to be asking potential pastors, “Are you a life long learner?” Churches need ministers who are continuing to grow personally, professionally, and spiritually. A minister of the gospel faces ne...

Although I have been a mentor and informal coach most of my life, I have practiced professional life coaching with clients for about five years now. During that time, I have built on my inherent gifts of encouraging and relating by adding professional training and observed coaching experiences. As I talk with other coaches, a common conversational topic is whether life coaching is an intuitive gift or is something that a person can be taught.  Is coaching something a person is gifted to do or can it be learned?  In short, is coaching an art or a craft? A craft originates in the left brain, the cognitive or rational side.  A craftsman learns techniques and how to use particular tools to develop or create something.  Once the creation is complete, there is little doubt of what it is.  In coaching, there are certain structures that the coach brings to the coaching conversation.  The coach brings order, direction, and momentum as well as some level o...

During the election season (which seems to grow longer every time it comes around), the focus is mostly on convincing rather than informing.  Ads, speakers, phone calls, e-mails and direct mail campaigns usually try to tell us where one candidate is wrong and another right. Even so, I have often found in this election that occasionally I AM informed and learn something from a candidate or one of their supporters that raises a significant question or makes me reassess one of my assumptions on an issue.  I have also realized that there are things that I can agree with another person about even if I do not buy into everything they say. This has been my approach in much of my reading, viewing, and listening.  Though I may differ with a person on some matters, I can learn from him or her.  I try to be aware of what people from a variety of perspectives—business, culture, religion—have to say and glean what is helpful for me.  I may have some theological di...