Even though we know how important the appointment is, I
have not found a single person who looks forward to an annual physical with his
or her personal physician. Whether male
or female, the patient has to provide samples of his or her bodily fluids,
submit to a list of personal questions, and endure various indignities at the
hands of the doctor. The physician always
does this in a personal and caring manner, but I come away with a sense of
relief that the ordeal is over for another year!
I got into the routine of having an annual physical when
I was working for a denominational organization that required it. Despite the inconvenience, I realized that
this was a good thing. The annual
meeting with my physician made me review the state of my health, provided a
baseline for future treatment, and helped me to set some personal goals for the
coming year related to lifestyle. When I changed places of ministry and the
annual exam was no longer required, I continued the practice and found that my
health insurance was willing to pay for it.
The annual physical examination reminds me that I am the
one who is ultimately responsible for my physical health. I can share observations, ask questions, get
advice (and prescriptions) that will help make my life more pleasant, and then
take appropriate action. Do I look
forward to it? No, but it is part of
being a responsible person.
Several years ago, I found myself in a situation where I
dreaded going to work. There were a few
physical symptoms, but the primary issue was what I would call a “dis-ease”
about anything related to my work responsibilities that bordered on
apathy. I chose to enter into a therapeutic
relationship with a trained pastoral counselor who helped me to process exactly
what was going on. Some time later when
I lost a young grandson to cancer, I again sought that therapeutic relationship
so that I could process my grief and return to an appropriate level of
functioning.
At various times, I have found myself in situations that
convinced me that I needed additional skills or information to be effective in
my ministry. Both formally and
informally, I found people who could mentor me to help develop the skills I
needed or who would coach me, holding me accountable as I pursued specific
goals.
I will admit that in all of these cases, I was initially
reluctant to ask for help. I was
concerned about becoming dependent on someone else and a bit afraid that my
ministerial status would be harmed if supervisors or colleagues discovered what
I was doing. In all of these cases,
seeking assistance was the best thing I could have done in the situation. My wife was the only person who actively
encouraged me to seek help. We both came
to the conclusion that if I did not take the initiative to do something, I was
headed to personal and professional crisis.
There are hurting ministers who serve churches,
judicatories, and institutions, but no one sees their distress but themselves. If they had a physical problem, they would
make an appointment with a physician, but because the problem emotional,
relational, or spiritual, the hurting minister pushes on through and prays for
light at the end of the tunnel (and hopes that it is not an approaching train).
Just as we take responsibility for our physical health,
ministers must be responsible for their emotional, spiritual, and relational
health. We cannot realistically expect a
church, judicatory, or employer to recognize the personal needs of the
minister. Even the most well-intentioned
employer may be unaware of the minister’s challenges and needs. Each minister must learn to monitor himself
or herself for signs of distress or “dis-ease.”
Are you in touch with what your life is saying to
you? How is your monitoring system? When you find yourself stressed out, lacking
direction, or frustrated, the only one who knows that some action is required
is you. We are fortunate to have
counselors, therapists, and coaches who are ready to come alongside and help in
such situations. I am very thankful for
those who have provided that assistance to me.
Don’t be reluctant to take that first step to self-care.
This article originally appeared in the Pinnacle Leadership Associates E-Newsletter.
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