Barnabas File

Each coaching client is unique.     As coaches, we each have a philosophy of coaching, a code of ethics, strategies, curiosity, and intuition.     We have our own experiences and inclinations that inform us but (we hope) do not limit our effectiveness.    Even so, we must be flexible, ready to adapt to the personality, expectations, and individuality of each client.   My observation is that all my coaching clients (past and present) have certain characteristics in common, however.   They are smart.   Most are in leadership roles that are only given to professionally and vocationally competent people.  They have both training and life experiences to draw on.   They are gifted.   We define spiritual gifts in various ways, but I believe that God has gifted each person with special abilities.  These gifts may not always be fully developed, but they are present in the individual.   They know a lot more ...

Life Coaching vs. Therapy: A Comparison Ethical and effective coaches know when a client’s needs go beyond the scope of coaching and require referral to a licensed mental health professional. Recognizing these boundaries protects both the client’s well-being and the integrity of the coaching process.     Aspect Life Coaching Therapy Primary Focus Future-oriented growth and goal achievement Healing and recovery from past or present emotional/psychological distress Approach Strengths-based, action-driven, and solution-focused Diagnostic, treatment-based, and process-oriented Time Orientation Focuses on present and future Often explores past to understand and heal present issues Scope Clarifying goals, building skills, enhancing performance, increasing life satisfaction Addressing mental illness, trauma, emotional regulation, and behavioral challenges Typical Client Mentally healthy individuals seeking growth, clarity, or life transition support Individuals experiencing emotional...

While life/leadership coaching can be deeply supportive, it is not a substitute for mental health treatment. I have had clients who were not only engaged in coaching but were seeing a counselor as well. Each engagement was helpful to the client, but it was important for the client to understand the clear distinction between the two helping professions.   Ethical and effective coaches know when a client’s needs go beyond the scope of coaching and require referral to a licensed mental health professional. Recognizing these boundaries protects both the client’s well-being and the integrity of the coaching process.   Key signs that a referral may be appropriate include the following:   Signs of Mental Illness  – Persistent depression, anxiety, mood swings, panic attacks, or symptoms that interfere with daily functioning.   Unresolved Trauma  – Past or recent trauma that causes significant emotional distress or impacts the client’s ability to focus on future goa...

Having served on the board of a faith-based counseling center, I have a great appreciation for professional counselors and therapists.     I have also been the client of a therapist, so I know the impact that a trained, empathetic counselor can have in one’s life.    As a result, when I train our coaches at Summit Coach Training, I have a clear understanding of the difference between counseling/therapy and coaching.   My colleague, Beth Kennett, has reminded me, however, that coaching can contribute to one’s mental health.   Life coaching can significantly contribute to mental health without being therapy by focusing on personal growth, clarity, and forward movement — not on diagnosing or healing mental illness. Here's how coaching can support mental well-being when properly used.   First, Future-Focused Empowerment.   Coaching helps clients set and achieve meaningful goals, boosting motivation and hope — both protective factors for...

Whatever the profession, many people find themselves standing at a crossroads, knowing where they want to go but unsure how to build the bridge to get there. If you are someone who naturally gravitates toward helping others find that path, who thrives on seeing potential unlocked, then becoming a coach might be more than a career—it could be your calling.   In this article, I use the term “coach” to refer to anyone who adheres to the International Coaching Federation  definition  of coaching:   “Partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”   One may choose different modifiers to clarity their particular interest—life, leadership, health, career, spiritual, etc.  Each requires additional training beyond the basics of coaching.   The primary reason to become a coach is the profound sense of purpose that comes from making a tangible, positive i...

When I began coaching, my colleague Mark Tidsworth introduced me to the concept of “positive psychology.”  I have come to appreciate how this approach, pioneered by Martin Seligman and others, can enrich and inform my coaching.   Basically, positive psychology is like the "glass half full" approach to understanding people. Instead of just focusing on what's wrong with us, it's all about what makes us feel good and live a good life.   Think of it this way:   It's not just about fixing problems:  It's about figuring out what makes us happy and how to get more of that. It's about our strengths:  Instead of dwelling on our weaknesses, it looks at what we're good at and how we can use those things. Happy feelings matter:  It looks at why feeling things like joy and gratitude are important. Getting lost in the moment is good:  That feeling when you're totally absorbed in something you love? That's important for feeling good. Friends are key:  Good ...

Do you have what it takes to be a coaching leader?  A coaching leader is someone who encourages another person to identify his or her goals, discover the resources available to pursue those goals, develop action plans together, and then walk along beside that person in the process of achieving the person’s goals.  A coaching leader can apply these skills in working with groups and teams as well, multiplying his or her impact as a coach by including others in the process.   A coaching leader is strong in the elements that Daniel Goleman attributes to emotional intelligence:   Self-awareness. Self-regulation. Motivation. Empathy. Social skills.   These are skills that can be learned once a person understands his or her own emotional intelligence profile.  The more that you, as a leader, can manage each of these areas, the higher your emotional intelligence.  Emotional intelligence is essential to be an effective coaching leader. In ad...

A friend got very upset with me once when I said, “I don’t treat all of my children the same way.”     He thought this was very unfair, but I tried to explain that my desire was to relate to them in a way that was appropriate to them as individuals.     I am sure that I did not always succeed, but I realized that each of them was unique--the needs of one were very different from the needs of another.    I loved, and still love, all of them but the important thing was that I attempted to provide what I thought each one needed.   So here is my secret:  I don’t coach all of my coaching clients in the same way!  Why?  Because they are individuals with different needs, experiences, and capacities.  Each person has their own particular way of processing experiences, learning, and acting.  If I fail to take that into account, our coaching relationship will not be effective.   For example, one client may k...

The Gallup organization did a  meta-analysis  of 100 million employee interviews to identify what makes a highly engaged team.  The key factor is the manager, but one with a particular style of leading.  In a recent blog post, Jim Clifton reported, “ Gallup has discovered -- through studying what the best managers do differently -- that great managing is an act of coaching, not one of directing and administrating.” At the center of compassionate accountability is coaching.  Good managers engage in regular coaching conversations to encourage, develop, and support team members.  In the blog, Clifton suggests several ways to implement this game changing strategy in an organization. 1.    1.   Recognize that Millennials and Generation Z individuals want to learn and grow.     Coaching provides this opportunity. 2.       Announce to your organization that your leaders will move from administer...

The first real “job” for which I was paid was as a math tutor.  Considering that I failed Calculus in college, this is rather ironic.  I was a junior in high school and my math teacher recommended me as a tutor for an eighth grader.  The parents paid me ten dollars a session.   As I began working with this young man, I realized pretty quickly that he already knew what he was supposed to do.  He understood the calculations and was probably a better math student than I was!  The key was focus.  He needed someone who would just sit with him, respond to his work, and provide encouragement.  I did not need to be an expert; I just needed to be there.   I find myself in the same situation very often as a leadership coach.  As I talk with a client, I discover that not only does the person have the best knowledge of the situation we are discussing, but he or she has some ideas about how to address it in a p...

Something exciting is happening in our culture.     Churches and their leaders are being called upon to step up and provide hope and community in these challenging times.     This is a time for believers to engage.    In recent years, many religious leaders have seemed content to sit on the sidelines, wring their hands over the “decline of the church,” and avoid the charge of Jesus that “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25:40, NIV) Bold leadership--foot washing and witness--go hand in hand, but this only happens when leaders are empowered and supported.   In his new book,   Coaching as Spiritual Practice: Deepening Faith While Deepening Impact  Edward Hammett suggests one strategy to provide that kind of support.   “I would like to propose that churches, denominations, judicatories, and districts begin to cooperate to employ a coach in ...

Effective coaches are on a journey—not only to improve their skills but to understand themselves.     In so doing, they can increase the quality of coaching they offer to their clients.    One way to do this is to identify and strengthen their own level of social and emotional intelligence.   The connection between coaching and social and emotional intelligence (SEIP) is profound and multifaceted. Emotional intelligence is not just a desirable trait for a coach; it's a fundamental skill that underpins effective coaching and drives positive outcomes for clients.   Social and Emotional Intelligence provides a strong foundation for effective coaching in several ways. Building Trust and Rapport: SEIP, particularly empathy and social skills, allows coaches to create a safe, open, and trusting environment where clients feel understood and comfortable sharing their vulnerabilities. This rapport is crucial for a successful coaching relationship. Unde...

Several decades ago, Richard Bolles wrote  What Color is Your Parachute?  on identifying and pursuing your career goals.  In some ways,  The Career Game Loop  is “parachute” for a new generation.   Author Jessica Lindl’s background is in computer gaming.  Her book applies the process of gaming to the world of career discernment, development, and achievement.  Even if you are not a gamer, you will appreciate the approach (and learn a lot about gaming along the way).  Lindl recognizes that one’s career path is no longer linear and provides a new model to take its place.   The process is basically four stages:  choose quest, level up, job hunt, and job craft.  There are echoes of Joseph Campbell’s “hero’s journey” because that is what good games are all about.  Lindl develops each stage in depth with not only personal stories but examples of gaming development.   There’s a lot to absorb...

In our coaching classes, someone will bring up the question, “How do I discover my coaching niche?”     A niche is defined as “a specialized segment of the market for which you are best fitted.” This is an area in which someone might focus their attention as a coach.     Although we believe that a competent coach can use her or his skills to coach persons in any vocation, there are a couple of reasons someone identifies a niche.    First, when you work with someone in a vocation with which you are familiar, you are more comfortable initiating the conversation with that person.  You are more confident.  This does not mean that you expect to share your expertise or experiences with the client, but your background helps you to understand the playing field and provide a mental framework to ask good questions.   Second, as you begin to develop your coaching practice, the natural strategy is to pursue contacts within your network—people y...