As
I have learned more about coaching, I have wished that I had acquired sound
coaching skills when I was a denominational person. In the role of a
denominational worker, I interacted with many clergy and lay leaders on a
personal basis. They felt they could
talk freely with me because I was not part of their local environment or
supervisory structure.
Certainly,
there were times when I listened and asked good questions, but most of the time
I felt that I needed to be a problem-solver and provide a solution for the
person with whom I was interacting. When
I could not generate a good solution, I often came away from those conversations
feeling that I had failed that person.
One
of the important things I have learned as a coach is that the person being
coached is the real expert on their challenge.
They know themselves, their abilities, and their situation better than
anyone else. Most people have never
really attempted to tap into the personal and corporate resources readily available
to them. When they learn how to do this,
the most productive path forward becomes very clear.
These
days I am thinking more about how to encourage the leaders with whom I work to practice
coaching skills with individuals, groups, and teams. As they do this, they multiply their
ministries, bring new people alongside to accomplish the task, and encourage others
to discover and use their gifts.
If
we are going to develop leaders who are also coaches, there are three basic
skills that they need to practice.
First,
a coaching leader needs to ask powerful questions. Powerful questions are based not only on good
inquiries, but good listening. A person
may ask good questions but fail to listen to the responses.
A
good listener hears not only what the other person is saying but for the meaning
behind their words as well. This leads
to even better questions and deeper insights!
Second,
the coaching leader seeks clarity not only for himself or herself but for the
person with whom they are working. How
will either party know what needs to be addressed if there is no clear picture
of the need? Sometimes a person comes to
the conversation with the apparent concern but then the real concern must be
identified. For example, the leader’s
difficulty in working with a colleague may not be that the other person lacks
motivation but that they don’t really know what is expected of them. Clarity
accelerates the change process. This
requires a freedom to explore possibilities.
Third,
the coaching leader helps to create accountability. This does not mean that the leader becomes an
authority figure. Most of the people we
work with today don’t think much of positional authority anyway. The leader may be available for the other
person to check in on the achievement of milestones, but the person being
coached becomes most effective when they learn self-accountability and how to
make use of their natural accountability structures. For example, self-accountability structures
might be using a checklist or programming a reminder into a cell phone. Natural accountability structures might be
based on promises or commitments made with a co-worker, a spouse, or friend.
I
challenge coaches to consider how they can not only coach their clients who are
leaders but help them to instill a coach approach into their own
leadership. This can be a fulfilling and
empowering experience for all involved.
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