Change: Honor the Other

Our society provides numerous examples of people not listening to and respecting each other. We let prejudices and preconceived ideas get in the way of respectful discourse. Unfortunately, we often find the same practice in the church.

When we consider the change process, the second step is “honor the other.” Honest differences of opinion must not only be respected but honored. We all have our points of view. As we talk and reason with one another, uniformity is not the goal. Writer Walter Lippman was reported to have said, "When everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much." The challenge is to present one’s opinion in such a way that we do not cut off effective dialogue and discussion. We want to generate light rather than heat.

A mistake often made in the process of change is to jump to conclusions and to try to resolve a contested issue without adequate discourse. There are ways to avoid this. Many churches use a “town hall meeting” approach to get things on the table for discussion. In this moderated discussion, people have the opportunity to express their opinions on a topic without having to make an immediate decision.

For example, a pastor search committee might conduct several town hall meetings to listen to participants’ expectations, concerns, and questions before starting the actual search process. The approach also works well in discussing changes in worship services, building development or usage, or new ministry opportunities. Since the town hall meeting is not an official business meeting, the stakes are low and there is no need to make a decision for action.

Another approach is to meet with diverse groups to get their insights in focus group settings. One person asks the group questions and another records their responses. The goal is not to resolve an issue but to get insights. By involving diverse groups such as deacons, Bible study classes, youth, and ministry leaders, we gather diverse perspectives without asking for commitment.

We might be able to have more of these honest and non-threatening discussions, if we remembered Paul’s injunction in Romans 12:10: “Be devoted to oneanotherin love. Honoroneanotherabove yourselves.” (NIV)

(This blog post originally appeared here on July 8, 2016.)

Comments

Check these out

Confessions of a Recovering Southern Baptist

I am grateful for my heritage as a Southern Baptist. I was exposed to the Bible and worship from a very young age. I grew up in a church in south Alabama that supported the Cooperative Program of missions giving. This meant that our church had the benefit of being part of a supportive group of local churches and the educational opportunities that afforded. Our state convention provided varied and effective ministries with groups like orphans, ethnic groups, and college students. We supported missionaries at home and abroad. We had good Bible study and training literature (which we paid for, of course). I went to an accredited seminary and paid a remarkably low tuition. Wherever you went on a Sunday morning (in the Southeast and Southwest, at least), you could find a church that sang the familiar hymns and studied the same Bible lesson. In hindsight, I realize that this Southern Baptist utopia was imperfect. There were significant...

The Bible Tells Me So

As I read the story of the Good Samaritan during my devotional today, I was reminded of the times that I have heard the story in the Christian education setting of the local church--as a youngster in primary and intermediate classes (old terminology), as a young adult in college classes, and then as an adult, often teaching the passage myself. The characters and story line are very familiar due to these experiences of Christian education. These are challenging times for Christian education in the church. Like so much of what is happening in the church today, the old forms do not seem to support present needs. What once worked no longer seems to be effective. Christian education or the formation of believers is in a state of flux. In an article on ethicsdaily.com , retired professor Colin Harris addresses this issue. He points out that the period of the 60’s and 70’s “saw the beginnings of a loss of vitality within the educa...

Metaphors of the Kingdom of God

In a recent blog , consultant Seth Godin addresses the power of metaphor. He points out, “The best way to learn a complex idea is to find it living inside something else you already understand.” In other words, “this” is like “that.” “When you see a story, an example, a wonderment,” says Godin, “take a moment to look for the metaphor inside.” Jesus turned this around. In the use of parables, he told a story or provided a metaphor and challenged his hearers to see the truth within. For example, in his teaching on the Kingdom (or Reign) of God in Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus compares the Kingdom to such things as a mustard seed, yeast, a hidden treasure, a net, a king, and a landowner. His hearers are encouraged to use their imaginations to understand something that they had never experienced. He also attempted to shift their perspective so that they might see signs of the Kingdom breaking into their present reality. These are metapho...

The Tragedy of Willow Creek Community Church

File photo of Steve Carter, Heather Larson, and Bill Hybels As Christian brothers and sisters, we need to pray for Willow Creek Community Church. On the eve of the Global Leadership Summit, a worldwide conference sponsored by the church in cooperation with the Willow Creek Association, church leadership imploded as a result of further allegations against former pastor Bill Hybels. Last year, Hybels introduced the team who would assume church leadership upon his retirement--lead pastor Heather Larson and teaching pastor Steve Carter. Although the founding pastor planned to stay on to assist in a time of transition, reports of sexual impropriety involving Hybels surfaced early this year. He accelerated his departure from the church and left the board of the Willow Creek Association. When other charges emerged last week, teaching pastor Carter resigned. On Wednesday evening, Larson and the entire elder board--lay leaders who provide accountability ...

A Future for the Global Leadership Summit?

Craig Groeschel, the founder and senior pastor of Life.Church. The Global Leadership Summit which began as a project of Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, Illinois, and its founding pastor, Bill Hybels, over 25 years ago was held this week without Hybels. For several years, the GLS has been now produced by the Willow Creek Association, a spin-off organization and a loose network of churches but Hybels has been its driving force. Attended by thousands at the church facility in South Barrington and broadcast to thousands more at satellite locations, the annual meeting brings together not only evangelical leaders but outstanding speakers from business, charitable organizations, politics, and business. For the first time, Hybels did not appear due to allegations of sexual impropriety brought against him over the past year by former employees, staff members, and business associates. He has already left the church and resigned from the board of t...

Barnabas File

Search This Blog