Barnabas File

One of the biggest challenges of training coaches is helping them get over the idea that they are problem solvers.  Summit Coach Training participants usually come from the people development professions—clergy, counselors, consultants, not-for profit leaders.  The are used to people coming to them seeking answers.  These helpers usually feel compelled to give them answers!   The real goal of coaching is working a client to discover and use their skills and experience to solve their own challenges.  The key to good coaching is not the “what” of problem solving but the “who” of the client as problem solver.   Ultimately, coaching seeks to be a transformative process for the client emphasizing not “what” the client does but “who” the client is.  A good coach walks alongside the client as they discover new ways of thinking and engaging based on how they process and act.  A good coach does this in several ways.   Fir...

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned. . . . For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,  Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:2, 6, NIV)   Although the end of one year and the beginning of another may be as simple as turning a calendar page, the symbolic move from one calendar year to another has significant impact on all of us.  At this time of the year, we look back to evaluate where we have been, but we also look forward to where we are going.   Looking back   As we look back, we celebrate victories, give thanks for our blessings, and learn from our failures.  I am thankful for the wonderful times with family this year–shared experiences and just doing life together.  I am grateful for my faith community that provides times of fellowsh...

In our coaching classes, we often address personal values.     As a coach works with a client to identify the best way forward for the client, one of the challenges is helping the client discover what is really important for them as individuals.     We are all pulled in different directions—challenges, responsibilities, relationships.     What we should concentrate on and what gives us satisfaction can be frustrating.    Robert Glazer suggests that this comes from “a misalignment between the roles expected of us and our core values.”   In the introduction to The Compass Within: A Little Story About the Values That Guide Us, Glazer writes, “When we succeed in aligning our lives with those values, we feel a sense of peace and enthusiasm, as if we were truly living our ideal lives. In contrast, the discomfort caused by a misalignment of values is deep and painful and rarely fades with time; and if it does fade, it’s usually due to self-abandonme...

I n a leadership narrative style, Jim Ferrell offers us his fresh perspective on leadership.    In You and We: A Relational Rethinking of Work, Life, and Leadership , he writes:   “Management of the individual is dead, or soon will be; management of relation is the new leadership paradigm.”   Ferrell contends that “Relationships are what we build with each other. However, relation, by contrast, is simply a fact of existence. Relation isn’t built; it’s already there—a reality, not a construct. Everything is in relation, including us, so we are in relation whether we want it or not, and whether we have a relationship or not.”   Drawing on the work of philosophers and theologians such as Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, Martin Buber, Carl Jung, and Gabriel Marcel, he calls leaders to a new level of transparency and awareness, leveraging relationship to achieve both personal and organizational success.    His view is very dynamic.  He points out, “We’...

“One man questioned whether I was truly a Christian. Another asked if I was still on ‘the right side.’ All while Dad was in a box a hundred feet away.”   Tim Alberta was standing in his home church at the funeral of his father, the longtime pastor.  In 2020, Alberta had written  American Carnage: On the Front Lines of the Republican Civil War and the Rise of President Trump .  In that book he reported on the conversion of the Republican Party to the Party of Trump.  Now he was reaping the consequences—comments and criticism from people he had known for years who questioned not only his integrity but his Christian faith.   In  The Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory: American Evangelicals in an Age of Extremism , Alberta shares not only his personal journey but the path that has led many Christians from a simple fundamentalism to an extreme Christian nationalism. Written in between the two Trump terms, Alberta records the extremes to w...

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. -- Philippians 3:12-14, NIV   Change is inevitable.  It is not only to be expected, but to be pursued.  If you are a believer, my hope is that spiritually you are not where you were when you first acknowledged your faith in Christ.  The same is true for any church, family, business, or not-for-profit organization.  If you are now exactly what you were when you first started your journey, you are not effective in your mission.  As our context changes, our beliefs remain stable, but our methodologie...

In my conversations with coaches, I sometimes ask the question, “What does your ideal client look like?”  There are various responses, but as I consider the questions myself, here are some client characteristics that will benefit the coaching conversation.   I would like the client to be honest in our conversation. This does not require complete transparency, but the more that the client feels free to share with me, the more it benefits them.  My role as a coach is provide a safe space where the client feels free to share and reflect.     Self-awareness on the part of the client is important.  The person being coached must be willing to question their own assumptions.  A goal in coaching is to help the client learn how to ask questions of themselves; this self-reflection is also an indication of growing emotional intelligence.   I hope my client will be forgiving.  Sometimes I miss the mark on a question.  I...

Diagram courtesy of Pinnacle Leadership Associates In a previous blog post, I introduced a new process for churches titled Crossing Thresholds developed by colleague Mark Tidsworth (see diagram) and discussed the value of developing a vision statement as part of “Aligning Church Expectations.”   Developing a vision statement is the first part of this step; the second part is putting it into action.  Most members, especially those who have invested themselves in the process of “Crossing Thresholds”, will be energized by the vision.  They will see this as the next logical step in the life of the church and step forward to make it a reality.  However, some will start to realize that “Adjusting Church Rhythms” (a previous step) may be necessary to achieve the vision, and they make not be comfortable with these changes.   Some changes that might need to be implemented to pursue a new vision could be one or more of the following:   Changing worship...

Diagram courtesy of Pinnacle Leadership Associates In a previous blog post, I introduced a new process for churches titled Crossing Thresholds developed by colleague Mark Tidsworth (see diagram).    One of the steps is “Aligning Church Expectations.”   If you think that the context in which your church ministers has not changed in the last 10 years, you must have been of the country for an extended vacation or work assignment.  The opportunities and challenges that every church faces today are vastly different than they were just a short time ago.   Without belaboring the point, there have been social changes (such as the COVID pandemic), technological changes (hello, social media and Artificial Intelligence), economic changes (and lowered expectations among young adults for a life even as good as that of their parents), and political changes (provide your own comment here).   If we are realistic, our cultural context impacts the vision if not the miss...

Courtesy of Pinnacle Leadership Associates Friend and colleague Mark Tidsworth is rolling out a new process for churches titled Crossing Thresholds.     In a nutshell, Mark is designing a way for churches to identify the “invisible barriers” to a church’s missional movement, changing those to “thresholds for crossing.” He states, “Once a threshold is crossed, churches and their leaders experience relief and release, moving into new seasons of freedom with ease of movement.”    Part of this process is a design of six steps for creating a strategy to cross thresholds (see diagram). From time to time, I will take the opportunity here to comment on some of the thoughts these steps provoke for me.  Please note these are my responses and do not necessarily reflect Mark’s thinking!   One of the dynamics that Mark addresses is Identity and Deconstruction.  One strategy step is “Collective Exploration.”   For me, an essential key for co...

Author Joe Lalley got my attention at once in his new book Question to Learn:  How Curiosity Can Transform Your Career, Team, and Organization because he combines two things that I have found transformative:  design thinking and coaching.     The book integrates the design thinking approach of starting with the customer, prototyping, and improving the idea or product into something that serves the customer’s need with the coaching concept of asking “powerful questions” that draw upon the client’s own expertise and experience to chart a new way forward.   Lalley writes, “This is book is for the community of the curious—a community where questions from professionals at all levels are celebrated, not discouraged.”  His illustrates this well with two individuals he has encountered in his life.  One is Steve, the software expert, who comes into a meeting providing the answer to your problem without even knowing what you need. ...

When we present our “elevator speech” about coaching, are we drawing the circle too small? In promoting coach training, I have often referred to the process as “an additional tool in your ministry toolbox.” As I talked with a ministry leader recently about coach training for his denomination, I realized that coaching is much more than simply a skill. I needed to enlarge my perspective and see coaching in a new light.   First, it is a biblical approach to developing disciples.  We believe that each person is “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) and is unique in the sight of God. Because of this, each of us has a special calling, one that can be discerned through interaction with a coach. As believers, we are also commanded to “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 3:18, NIV). Entering the life of faith is just the beginning because we are invited into a process of lifelong learning and serving. This journey can be facilitated ...

“How can a coach help someone to grow as a disciple of Christ? Does coaching help in spiritual formation?” As a Christian who is a practicing coach, you have probably been asked such questions. These are big, challenging questions, but in this context let’s limit our discussion to how coaching can be used in the church to develop believers in their growth and service.   When Mark Tidsworth and I wrote  Disciple Development Coaching: Christian Formation for the Twenty-First Century,  we started with one major assumption: people are coming into the fellowship of the church today from many different backgrounds. Some have been believers for a long time, although not necessarily in the faith tradition of their present fellowship. Others come with little or no Christian background, but with many life experiences and exposure to a variety of belief systems. Of course, some are grounded believers with a clear understanding of the Way of Christ. The biggest mistake that a church ...

“Most people don’t listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to respond. ”-- Stephen R.  Covey   Covey is very clear in challenging us to place the emphasis in listening on the person speaking rather than thinking about a ready response.  This is one of the first things we learn in our work as coaches. Coaching is not about us but about helping our clients to learn and grow. In our coach training, we will usually hear this statement: “You will have had a productive coaching session if your client talks eighty percent of the time, and you only talk twenty percent of the time.”  Listening is an essential part of the coach’s skill set.   We often speak of “powerful questions” almost as magic bullets in a coaching conversation, but those powerful questions only come from active listening.  Listening and subsequent questions are two parts of a whole. Each is essential.   Although active listening may sound like an oxymoron, a coach a...

In  Missional Renaissance , Reggie McNeal observes, “Genuine spirituality lives and flourishes only in cultures and relationships of accountability.”  A reality check on this statement comes from the Barna organization which has found that only one out of ten believers have an accountability structure.  This provides a significant challenge for coaches, especially as we work with believers.   Although many Christians think of their personal relationship with God as their primary accountability structure, we are called throughout the New Testament to be active and engaged members of the church, the Body of Christ.  As part of a worshiping and serving community of faith, we are part of a group of sisters and brothers who challenge and encourage us. Hebrews 10:24 states, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (NIV). This provides an accountability structure that clients and their coaches often fail to recognize and utilize. ...

In our   Introduction to Coaching   class at Summit Coach Training, we invite participants to write their “elevator speech” on who they are or want to be as a coach.    If you don’t know the term, an elevator speech is a clear, brief message or “commercial” about you. It is something that you could share on a short elevator ride with another occupant. My elevator speech as a coach is, “I help individuals discover their growing edge and to live into it.”   What’s a “growing edge”? Your growing edge is the boundary between your present status, role, or self-concept and the demarcation point to possibilities beyond that present reality.  It is a choice to move beyond the status quo to something new.  I believe that one’s willingness to address their growing edge comes out of one or more the following characteristics and questions.   Curiosity— “How can I learn more about this topic.”  Something has attracted my attention, an...

In Celtic Christianity, Christians often seek out “thin places” where God seems to be especially close. These are physical sites where there is an undeniable connection to the sacred. This idea is portrayed in Exodus 3:5 where Moses is told by God, “The place on which you are standing is holy ground.” These are not always places of peace, however. In Genesis 32, we read the account of a “thin place” where Jacob struggled with a stranger and came away saying “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved.” (v. 30) Out of his struggle came peace and direction.   We are especially blessed when we encounter such places, but in practice, they are not always geographical. These are places where we encounter God and come away with new insight, understanding, and purpose. They may be present in our prayer time, our conversations with friends, or even in a coaching conversation. More than once I have had a client talk about the coaching conversation as a safe or sacred spac...