Barnabas File

I am not an apologist for social media—it can be divisive, time-consuming, and distasteful. Even so, I continue to post regularly on Facebook.    Here are my reasons:   Posting reminds me to celebrate the good things of life—family, friends, special occasions.  I am reminded of the blessings of present and past relationships.  That’s why you will see lots of pictures of my grandchildren and great grandchildren!   Posting allows me to connect with a large community of people with both similar and diverse opinions.  Many of these are trusted friends and colleagues. I want to maintain that contact, not matter how tenuous. Posting is a way to encourage others.  I share scripture, key quotes, and ideas that have caught my attention.  There’s enough negativity out there; let’s encourage each other with positive ideas. Posting gives me the opportunity to teach.  That may sound a bit presumptuous, but I consider mys...

Do you have what it takes to be a coaching leader?  A coaching leader is someone who encourages another person to identify his or her goals, discover the resources available to pursue those goals, develop action plans together, and then walk along beside that person in the process of achieving the person’s goals.  A coaching leader can apply these skills in working with groups and teams as well, multiplying his or her impact as a coach by including others in the process.   A coaching leader is strong in the elements that Daniel Goleman attributes to emotional intelligence:   Self-awareness. Self-regulation. Motivation. Empathy. Social skills.   These are skills that can be learned once a person understands his or her own emotional intelligence profile.  The more that you, as a leader, can manage each of these areas, the higher your emotional intelligence.  Emotional intelligence is essential to be an effective coaching leader. In ad...

A friend got very upset with me once when I said, “I don’t treat all of my children the same way.”     He thought this was very unfair, but I tried to explain that my desire was to relate to them in a way that was appropriate to them as individuals.     I am sure that I did not always succeed, but I realized that each of them was unique--the needs of one were very different from the needs of another.    I loved, and still love, all of them but the important thing was that I attempted to provide what I thought each one needed.   So here is my secret:  I don’t coach all of my coaching clients in the same way!  Why?  Because they are individuals with different needs, experiences, and capacities.  Each person has their own particular way of processing experiences, learning, and acting.  If I fail to take that into account, our coaching relationship will not be effective.   For example, one client may k...

The Gallup organization did a  meta-analysis  of 100 million employee interviews to identify what makes a highly engaged team.  The key factor is the manager, but one with a particular style of leading.  In a recent blog post, Jim Clifton reported, “ Gallup has discovered -- through studying what the best managers do differently -- that great managing is an act of coaching, not one of directing and administrating.” At the center of compassionate accountability is coaching.  Good managers engage in regular coaching conversations to encourage, develop, and support team members.  In the blog, Clifton suggests several ways to implement this game changing strategy in an organization. 1.    1.   Recognize that Millennials and Generation Z individuals want to learn and grow.     Coaching provides this opportunity. 2.       Announce to your organization that your leaders will move from administer...

A t some point, I discovered that you learn more by teaching than by being a student in a course.  For four years, colleague Beth Kennett and I have taught an Introduction to Coaching class as part of Summit Coach Training from Pinnacle.  In teaching, I have rediscovered at least ten concepts that I think every coach should remember.  1.   1.   The client is central.     Coaching is really all about the client. The client sets the agenda, and the coach provides the process.     If you have any concerns about what to ask or how to proceed, ask yourself, “Does this serve the client?” 2.       Coaching is really a partnership.     It is a collaborative activity.     Bob Dale spoke about coach and client as “thought partners.”     It is a partnership that fosters creativity on the part of client and learning on the part of the coach. 3.       You are not a “...

The first real “job” for which I was paid was as a math tutor.  Considering that I failed Calculus in college, this is rather ironic.  I was a junior in high school and my math teacher recommended me as a tutor for an eighth grader.  The parents paid me ten dollars a session.   As I began working with this young man, I realized pretty quickly that he already knew what he was supposed to do.  He understood the calculations and was probably a better math student than I was!  The key was focus.  He needed someone who would just sit with him, respond to his work, and provide encouragement.  I did not need to be an expert; I just needed to be there.   I find myself in the same situation very often as a leadership coach.  As I talk with a client, I discover that not only does the person have the best knowledge of the situation we are discussing, but he or she has some ideas about how to address it in a p...

Something exciting is happening in our culture.     Churches and their leaders are being called upon to step up and provide hope and community in these challenging times.     This is a time for believers to engage.    In recent years, many religious leaders have seemed content to sit on the sidelines, wring their hands over the “decline of the church,” and avoid the charge of Jesus that “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25:40, NIV) Bold leadership--foot washing and witness--go hand in hand, but this only happens when leaders are empowered and supported.   In his new book,   Coaching as Spiritual Practice: Deepening Faith While Deepening Impact  Edward Hammett suggests one strategy to provide that kind of support.   “I would like to propose that churches, denominations, judicatories, and districts begin to cooperate to employ a coach in ...

Effective coaches are on a journey—not only to improve their skills but to understand themselves.     In so doing, they can increase the quality of coaching they offer to their clients.    One way to do this is to identify and strengthen their own level of social and emotional intelligence.   The connection between coaching and social and emotional intelligence (SEIP) is profound and multifaceted. Emotional intelligence is not just a desirable trait for a coach; it's a fundamental skill that underpins effective coaching and drives positive outcomes for clients.   Social and Emotional Intelligence provides a strong foundation for effective coaching in several ways. Building Trust and Rapport: SEIP, particularly empathy and social skills, allows coaches to create a safe, open, and trusting environment where clients feel understood and comfortable sharing their vulnerabilities. This rapport is crucial for a successful coaching relationship. Unde...