Barnabas File

  "If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there”. —Lewis Carroll   "If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up someplace else”. —Yogi Berra    We are far enough into the new year that most of our “new year’s resolution” have either taken hold or have been forgotten.  The beginning of the year is one of those pivot points that challenge us to stop, take inventory, and at least consider making changes in our lives.  Although we don’t often think about it, new year’s resolutions are a kind of goal setting.   The idea of setting goals often strikes fear in our hearts.  Most of us have been part of organizations that required us to set goals at one time or another.  Some of us didn’t mind so much setting goals as being required to!    In The How of Happiness , Sonja Lyubomirsky helps the reader to see goal setting as a path to mental health and growth rather than as a burden.  ...

During and post-COVID, I did some online coaching related to resiliency.     Very often we ended up talking about coping skills, actions that were a response to stress or change.    Coping skills are basically damage control, helping us to get back to a baseline of “okay.”   I was recently introduced to the positive psychology term of “savoring”—attending to and embracing the positive experiences of our lives.  Basically, coping and savoring are two sides of the same coin—both are emotional regulation strategies, but they operate in entirely different "climates."   You might think of them as the tools you use for different weather--coping is your umbrella for the rain, while savoring is your sunglasses for the sunshine.   In coping, we are trying to manage the negative in order to reduce distress, solve problems, or minimize the impact of an unexpected event.  Some examples would be seeking social support after a loss, pra...

  Have you ever worked with a leader who had the knowledge and training to do the job, but lacked the ability to effectively work with others? In both coaching and leadership, Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is often the "missing link" between technical competence and actual effectiveness. While Intellectual Intelligence (IQ) might get you the job, Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is what helps you keep it and excel in it.   The most widely accepted framework, popularized by Daniel Goleman, breaks EQ into four core domains.   1.          Self-Awareness (The Foundation).   You cannot manage what you do not notice. Self-awareness is the ability to recognize your own emotions “in the moment” and understand your typical triggers. Two aspects of this are emotional literacy—being able to clearly name the feeling  ( e.g., "I’m feeling dismissed") and impact awareness--recognizing how your mood affects the energy of the people around ...

As a leadership coach, I walk alongside individuals who feel a strong call to their vocation.  Despite their commitment, they often face challenges that they want to turn into opportunities.  As a coach, I act as a strategic partner who helps them bridge the gap between where they are and where they want to be. Coaching is future-oriented, focusing on actionable growth and personal potential.  Coaching looks forward, not backward, encouraging the client’s focus, growth, decision-making, and resilience.   What can a coach provide for you? The most important offerings a coach provides can be categorized into four core "pillars" of value.   1. Radical Clarity and Focus.  Many people seek coaching because they feel "stuck" or overwhelmed by choices. A coach helps you filter out the noise to identify what truly matters by working with you to identify clear, actional goals and ensuring that daily actions and long-term goals align with your dee...

Coaching—executive coaching, life coaching, leadership coaching—is relatively new, but the impact of coaches in both personal and professional life has been significant.    Coaches have a certain "soft skill" DNA. The best candidates are typically professionals in "people-centric" fields who have already shown an ability to encourage and develop others.    I suggest that there are seven types of individuals who may be ready for coach training and have the potential to use those skills effectively with others.      1.          Clergy leader.      Pastoral leaders are called to do many things, but one that cannot be neglected is the development of others in the Christian faith.    These people may be staff or lay members of the congregation.    In Ephesians, we are reminded, “So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors a...

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” (Matthew 19:14, NIV)   We often sing “Jesus loves me, this I know” and “Jesus loves the little children” to our grandchildren.  This is a rudimentary form of Christian nurture planting the core idea that a simple, childlike faith is basic to one’s spiritual formation.  Children are open, eager to learn, and hopefully raised in an environment of trust and love that encourages a healthy faith.  However, as a child grows, the challenge is to build upon that simple, childlike faith.   In our lives, we experience events, people, and circumstances that provide the incentive for growth in our faith.  Although we don’t always seize those opportunities, they are there, nonetheless.  We can only benefit from them if we not only experience them but see them through the eyes of a faith that seeks to grow. ...

Once an Eagle is a novel by Anton Myrer published in 1968 at the height of the Vietnam War. Myrer draws on this own experience as a Marine in the Pacific Theater in World War II, especially in describing combat with the Japanese. It is a popular volume among military leaders and is included on many reading lists for officers and non-commissioned officers in the United States Army as well as the Marine Corps   I find this endorsement fascinating since this lengthy volume (over 1200 pages in print form) comes across to me not so much as an account of dedicated military leadership but as a case against war.   The novel takes place between the 1910s and 1960s and covers many of the United States' military campaigns during that period including World Wars I and II as well as the initial involvement of the US military in Southeast Asia. The protagonist is Sam Damon, career Army officer, from his initial enlistment as a private to his rise to general officer rank. Damon is a ded...