When I was in seminary, I had the
opportunity to pastor a small church in the hill country of Texas. The first floor of the building was the
church; the second floor was the Masonic Lodge. There was only one deacon and he was in his
eighties. None of the other men in the
church could be elected as deacon because they were divorced or had married a
divorced woman. They were kind and
generous people who were used to having a seminary student as their
pastor. They expected him to be there
for a couple of years and then to move on.
They were basically a big extended family who often had problems
assimilating newcomers. They loved me, but they knew I was not there to stay.
Many ministers pastor this type of
church while in seminary. It is a part
time charge and gives a beginning pastor a place to “learn the ropes.” This is the size church that many
bivocational pastors serve and find it the place where they can do their most
effective ministry. We often refer to
this as the family-size church or “the family chapel” because most members tend
to be related to one another and, even if they are not, they operate the church
as if they were a family (with all the joys and sorrows that encompasses).
Family churches usually have about 50
participants on a Sunday morning. In
this setting, the pastor is the chaplain of the family. They just want the pastor “to love them” and
accept them the way they are. There is often
a patriarch or matriarch who is the leader of the congregation, even if not
officially designated as such. This person
has been around long enough to see a number of preachers come and go. They are not necessarily opposed to change;
they just see it as unimportant or irrelevant.
There are some necessary competencies
for a pastor to be successful within the confines of the family
congregation. The pastor should be able
to preach and teach the Bible with some level of skill and clarity. The pastor also exercises pastoral care
through visitation, calling on the sick, and performing “priestly” functions
such as baptizing, officiating at the Lord’s Table, conducting funerals, and
performing weddings.
In the family size church, the pastor is
not seen as a leader but more as a “sounding board” and advisor to the
patriarchs or matriarchs in the congregation.
Any influence the pastor has comes in relationships her or she develops
with the real leaders of the church.
This is not to say that the pastor of a
family size church is a lackey. He or
she must exercise all of the emotional intelligence at his or her disposal—self-awareness,
self-management, relationship management, adaptability, etc.—in order to serve
effectively and meet the needs of the church members. Unless the pastor grew up in this
congregation, he or she will never really be part of the family but can learn
to meet the spiritual, liturgical, and pastoral care needs of the members.
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