When I teach coaching classes for Central Baptist
Theological Seminary, I use texts that come at coaching from different
perspectives. Some are by strictly secular writers, while others are oriented
toward churches or the business community.
Usually, the author or a text will have a particular model (often shown
as a schematic) that depicts his or her approach to coaching.
In evaluating the books we used this semester, one student
pointed out that a couple of the models seemed to focus on coaching as a
process while another looked at coaching as a relationship. This raises an interesting question: “Is coaching a process or a relationship?”
From one perspective, there is a clearly delineated process
in any coaching model. Although I often
say that every coaching conversation has three parts—a beginning, a middle and
end—most models propose a way forward for the coaching conversation with
several parts or steps to be accomplished.
Sometimes it will be necessary to drop back to an earlier point in the
process for clarification or refocusing, but there is a clearly depicted
process for forward movement. The coach
is helping the client to move forward in order to achieve his or her goals.
On the other hand, a successful coaching experience must be
built on a relationship. There must be
mutual trust, a high level of respect, and a feeling that “we are in this
together” for a coaching conversation to be productive. If that doesn’t happen, it is highly unlikely
to be a positive experience. A good
relationship must be established early in the coaching engagement and sustained
over time.
Although some models may seem to emphasize one aspect over
the other, I believe that coaching is both a process and a relationship. We might think of coaching as a process
energized by a relationship or a relationship that drives a process, but both
are essential parts of the coaching conversation. A skillful coach keeps the two in balance,
knowing that both are needed.
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