Having coached for almost ten years now, I have assumed that
one thing that makes me attractive as a coach is my easy-going attitude. For the most part, I come across as non-judgmental
and supportive. Some have termed it “Southern
graciousness.”
At some point in a coaching relationship, however, I may
find it necessary to set this persona aside if I am to effectively coach my
client. I was reminded of this last year
when I attended a coach training event in California. We were asked to identify skills we needed to
work on to be better coaches. I chose
three: challenging, intruding, and
taking charge.
Now all of these run counter to my normal way of doing
things, but our trainers pointed out that sometimes a coach should stretch and
step outside of his or her comfort zone to serve the client more effectively.
Clients do not need a coach who is a “yes” person but one
who will make them dig deeper and discover the abilities, determination, and
initiative that is too often been dormant.
Sometimes a coach needs to move a client into less comfortable
territory.
Some questions that display these skills are:
“You have used this approach in the past. What have been the results?” When a coach has worked with a client for
awhile, he or she has seen how the client addresses certain concerns. The coach realizes that the client has an
accepted modus operandi that probably should be challenged to determine its
effectiveness in the current situation.
“Is this something you really want to do? Your failure to follow through indicates
otherwise.” If a client has set a goal
and fails to pursue it, the coach digs deeper to help the client identify
motivation and assess commitment.
Perhaps this item is no longer a priority for the client and there is a
need to focus attention elsewhere. On
the other hand, the goal may need to be redefined or clarified.
“When are you going to ‘pull the trigger’ on this project?” If a client has clear goals or great ideas
but never acts, what’s the obstacle? Perhaps there is no sense of urgency or a
fear of failure. The coach’s role is to
help the client get “unstuck.”
“What’s the real concern here?” Often a client will talk at length about a
situation, perhaps as a way of avoiding action.
The coach can help the client to focus and move on by calling the conversation
to a halt and challenging the client to determine the real issue and a plan of
action.
Of course, these questions are productive only when one has developed
trust and rapport with the client. He or
she must know that by asking these questions the coach is doing his or her job
to help the client move to the next level.
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