The Gift of Coaching

At some point, I discovered that you learn more by teaching than by being a student in a course. For three years, colleague Beth Kennett and I have taught an Introduction to Coaching class as part of Summit Coach Training from Pinnacle. In teaching, I have rediscovered at least ten concepts that I think every coach should remember.

The client is central. Coaching is really all about the client. The client sets the agenda, and the coach provides the process. If you have any concerns about what to ask or how to proceed, ask yourself, “Does this serve the client?”
Coaching is really a partnership. It is a collaborative activity. Bob Dale spoke about coach and client as “thought partners.” It is a partnership that fosters creativity on the part of client and learning on the part of the coach.
You are not a “fixer.” Many of us who are coaches come from backgrounds where we were problem-solvers—counselors, educators, clergy, leaders. As coaches, “fixing” someone else or providing all the answers to their challenges is not our task. If we do this, we are taking away from the client the opportunity learn for themselves and to take responsibility for their own actions.
Listen the client’s story. Every person’s story is rich with meaning. A good coach listens to the story because it provides indicators about how the client makes sense of her or his reality.
Offer a sacred, safe space for the client where he or she can talk about their deepest concerns, hopes, and dreams. Give the client a chance for their soul to speak.
Let the client think. When there is silence after you ask a question, you are not obligated to fill that space. Silence is not a bad thing; it gives the client time to reflect. The compulsion to speak may say more about either our own insecurity or our desire to succeed as a coach.
Coach the person not the problem. Marcia Reynolds wrote a book with this title. The coach’s role is not to solve the client’s problem/issue but to encourage the client to discover her or his own resources to do this.
Coach to your client’s strengths. I have had some push-back on this, but I agree with Marcus Buckingham that working on weaknesses is a great expenditure of energy that may become disillusioning and demotivating for the client. Help the client to discover what she or he does well and to do more of it.
Your experience is a resource not an answer. My experience may help me to understand a client better or even to identify with that person in some way, but their experiences and mine are different. When something comes to mind in a conversation which connects to my open background, I move it to a mental “backup file” for perspective or to drive my own empathy for the client. I don’t have to share it.
Embrace your incompetence. Seth Godin suggests that bringing a learner’s naivete to a conversation opens opportunities for both the client and the coach to grow.

As you review this list, you may note that coaching relationship fosters growth not only for the client but for the coach as well. Even though the client is the focus of the coaching conversation, the engagement is also a gift to the coach. It is a gift to value highly.

Comments

Check these out

Confessions of a Recovering Southern Baptist

I am grateful for my heritage as a Southern Baptist. I was exposed to the Bible and worship from a very young age. I grew up in a church in south Alabama that supported the Cooperative Program of missions giving. This meant that our church had the benefit of being part of a supportive group of local churches and the educational opportunities that afforded. Our state convention provided varied and effective ministries with groups like orphans, ethnic groups, and college students. We supported missionaries at home and abroad. We had good Bible study and training literature (which we paid for, of course). I went to an accredited seminary and paid a remarkably low tuition. Wherever you went on a Sunday morning (in the Southeast and Southwest, at least), you could find a church that sang the familiar hymns and studied the same Bible lesson. In hindsight, I realize that this Southern Baptist utopia was imperfect. There were significant...

The Bible Tells Me So

As I read the story of the Good Samaritan during my devotional today, I was reminded of the times that I have heard the story in the Christian education setting of the local church--as a youngster in primary and intermediate classes (old terminology), as a young adult in college classes, and then as an adult, often teaching the passage myself. The characters and story line are very familiar due to these experiences of Christian education. These are challenging times for Christian education in the church. Like so much of what is happening in the church today, the old forms do not seem to support present needs. What once worked no longer seems to be effective. Christian education or the formation of believers is in a state of flux. In an article on ethicsdaily.com , retired professor Colin Harris addresses this issue. He points out that the period of the 60’s and 70’s “saw the beginnings of a loss of vitality within the educa...

Metaphors of the Kingdom of God

In a recent blog , consultant Seth Godin addresses the power of metaphor. He points out, “The best way to learn a complex idea is to find it living inside something else you already understand.” In other words, “this” is like “that.” “When you see a story, an example, a wonderment,” says Godin, “take a moment to look for the metaphor inside.” Jesus turned this around. In the use of parables, he told a story or provided a metaphor and challenged his hearers to see the truth within. For example, in his teaching on the Kingdom (or Reign) of God in Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus compares the Kingdom to such things as a mustard seed, yeast, a hidden treasure, a net, a king, and a landowner. His hearers are encouraged to use their imaginations to understand something that they had never experienced. He also attempted to shift their perspective so that they might see signs of the Kingdom breaking into their present reality. These are metapho...

The Tragedy of Willow Creek Community Church

File photo of Steve Carter, Heather Larson, and Bill Hybels As Christian brothers and sisters, we need to pray for Willow Creek Community Church. On the eve of the Global Leadership Summit, a worldwide conference sponsored by the church in cooperation with the Willow Creek Association, church leadership imploded as a result of further allegations against former pastor Bill Hybels. Last year, Hybels introduced the team who would assume church leadership upon his retirement--lead pastor Heather Larson and teaching pastor Steve Carter. Although the founding pastor planned to stay on to assist in a time of transition, reports of sexual impropriety involving Hybels surfaced early this year. He accelerated his departure from the church and left the board of the Willow Creek Association. When other charges emerged last week, teaching pastor Carter resigned. On Wednesday evening, Larson and the entire elder board--lay leaders who provide accountability ...

A Future for the Global Leadership Summit?

Craig Groeschel, the founder and senior pastor of Life.Church. The Global Leadership Summit which began as a project of Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, Illinois, and its founding pastor, Bill Hybels, over 25 years ago was held this week without Hybels. For several years, the GLS has been now produced by the Willow Creek Association, a spin-off organization and a loose network of churches but Hybels has been its driving force. Attended by thousands at the church facility in South Barrington and broadcast to thousands more at satellite locations, the annual meeting brings together not only evangelical leaders but outstanding speakers from business, charitable organizations, politics, and business. For the first time, Hybels did not appear due to allegations of sexual impropriety brought against him over the past year by former employees, staff members, and business associates. He has already left the church and resigned from the board of t...

Barnabas File

Search This Blog