One morning recently I was scanning the obituaries in the
local paper (a daily ritual) when I noted the comment in one posting: “He lived his life with no regrets.” I also noted this man had also requested no
memorial service.
I did not know this individual, but I started wondering, “What
does it mean to live one’s life with no regrets?” I cannot identify with the statement. Perhaps I am either too introspective or too
guilt-ridden, but I can think of a number of things that I regret in the sense
that I wish that I had handled them differently.
There are people that I knew in high school and college
to whom I could have paid more attention.
As a young person, I was too concerned about me (I guess it goes with
the territory) and less concerned about how my remarks and attitudes might
affect others. There were times that I
treated others in inappropriate and disrespectful ways. I should have known better, but I didn’t or
chose not to.
I regret that I did not spend more time with my children
when they were at home. I now see what a
gift they have been to my life. The
business of life and work interfered with family time. It often still does.
From time to time, I regret that I did not spend more
time with those who are no longer with us—my grandson who died of cancer just
short of his fifth birthday, my parents, longtime friends and mentors. These all enriched my life and more time with
them would have blessed me and perhaps them.
I regret that I was not aware of the needs of one friend
who committed suicide. When I heard of
her death, I was shocked and could not understand why I did not see this
coming.
I could go on, but the point is that I do live with
regrets about “the road(s) not taken.” Regrets
are based on actions we wish we had taken.
I suppose we live with and learn from regrets by the way we deal with
them. First, I have to acknowledge these
before God and ask for God’s forgiveness.
Second, if possible, I need to share my regret with those involved. I don’t expect forgiveness but I need to
acknowledge my failings. Third, I need
to ask God to give me insight about myself based on these feelings. What do they say about my priorities, my
values, and my growth as a believer? In
addressing these regrets, I can hopefully become a better person.
Life without regrets?
No, I don’t identify with that statement and I do not choose to practice
it. I will live with my regrets.
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