In most situations, I prefer to work alone, but I long
ago realized the value of collaborating with others in planning, learning, and
implementation. In recent days, I have
had the opportunity both to give feedback and to receive it as I have
collaborated with others on some projects.
My responses and those of others caused me to think about some key
ingredients of successful collaboration.
First, we must listen to what people say. If we really want to learn from others and
benefit from their insights, we must listen without being defensive and value
what they have to offer. Even if they
offer their ideas in a forceful or even critical tone, look for the truth
there.
Second, we must learn to listen to what people don’t say. Lack of response or avoidance of certain
issues tell us something about the people in the group—their depth of
investment, the level of their trust, and their vulnerability or lack thereof. Perhaps there are some barriers that need to
be uncovered or acknowledged.
Third, we must hold our own ideas loosely but protect them
as well. The image that comes to mind is
retrieving a baby bird that has fallen from its nest. We want to hold on to it so that we can get
it to a place of safety but at the same time we want to avoid hurting it by asserting
too much force. In collaboration, we
must be willing to negotiate about our ideas but make sure that they get a good
hearing.
Fourth, we must be willing to learn from others. If we are not, why would we waste our time working
with them on the project? We must believe
they have something to offer or a stake in the project’s success or we would
avoid collaborating with them.
Fifth, we must make a concerted effort to keep others
informed with the appropriate facts, contextual concerns, and possible pitfalls.
Another way to say this is, “Lay all your cards on the table.” Practice full disclosure even when it may be
uncomfortable.
Sixth, we must take the time to acknowledge new insights
and to celebrate them. When someone has
given you a new perspective or idea, let them know and show your
appreciation. This will encourage them
to do more of the same and model acceptance for some things you have to offer
as well.
There are many other things to think about as we
collaborate with others. Working with a
group on any project is a challenging but potentially rewarding task. Perhaps you will add some ideas of your own
to the list.
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