I was surprised and appreciative (and a little flattered) when I received a call from
the executive director of a non-profit organization in another city inviting me
to serve as the master of ceremonies at a dinner they were sponsoring to honor
a long-time friend. The dinner was a
fund-raiser for an organization with a worthwhile mission and my friend
certainly deserved the recognition. I
thought this would be fun. I would tell
a couple of stories about my friend, introduce some folks, and enjoy the
fellowship.
When a letter asking me to buy tickets for the event arrived,
I responded and then made hotel reservations for the weekend. As the time drew closer for the dinner, I did
not hear anything from the organization about the program. A week before the scheduled dinner, I called
and left a message for the executive director.
When she called back, she said, “Well, I did not hear anything back from
you, so I invited someone else to do it.”
I was angry and a little embarrassed.
I am sure that she could tell that I was not happy, so I broke off the
conversation as quickly as possible. My
wife urged me to go anyway, but I was too frustrated and did not want to ruin
my friend’s recognition.
I learned later that I had completely misinterpreted what
the executive director was asking of me.
As I heard about the dinner after the fact, I found out that what she
wanted was not a person to preside, but someone to plan the program, invite
those who would speak, and come up with a printed program for the evening. We had failed to communicate about our
relative expectations of what a “master of ceremonies” would do. There was a lack of clarity in our
conversation. In reality, I probably was
not the best person to do what she needed done.
I share this story because it reminds me how often we fail
to get a clear picture of where we are going and what is expected of us. Even when we use the same words in
conversation with others, we may mean different things. In coaching, I often find myself pushing a
client to articulate more clearly and specifically where they are going and how
they intend to get there. Clarity is important.
My friend Gary Wood teaches an approach to coaching that he
calls The Clarity Model. His point is
that we cannot achieve anything if we don’t clearly understand where we are
going and the things that help or hinder us in getting there. I recommend Gary’s training not only because
it is a good model but because I see how often we fail to have a clear picture
of what we hope to achieve. Getting
clarity cannot only save one embarrassment and frustration but can result in
significant life changes.
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